


Paint My Spirit Gold

by hapakitsune



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 18:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hapakitsune/pseuds/hapakitsune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For fifteen years, Sidney has lived on the palace grounds in Petrograd. In that time, he has spoken to Prince Evgeni five times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paint My Spirit Gold

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for an anon prompt at tumblr.

1\. The first time they meet, he's five and has been living in Petrograd for a little less than a year. He attends school in the city with the children of other ambassadors, but he can only say a few words of Russian and no one speaks good enough English to talk to him. He doesn’t even know who Evgeni is when they first meet; he just runs into him while scurrying back to his room after stealing a cinnamon roll from the kitchen.

"Ow," Evgeni says, picking himself up. He says something in Russian – Sidney catches "you" and "sorry." Then he sees the roll and smiles. “Share?” he suggests after realizing that Sidney doesn’t speak Russian.

Sidney holds out the roll, and Evgeni splits it with a smile. They perch together on a windowsill and eat in silence. 

When he's done, Evgeni licks his fingers clean of frosting, smiles again, and says, "Thank you," scrupulously polite, and jumps down to the floor. Sidney watches him go, then realizes he's going to be late for dinner, and jumps off to go running back to his family's apartments. 

 

2\. He's ten and hiding in the library. His baby sister won’t stop crying, and he thinks she's cute and everything, but he doesn’t want to listen to her scream. He would rather hide in the vast, dusty depths of the library, searching out old books on sports and history. 

Evgeni is tucked away in a back corner, dressed as neatly as a prince should be, his dark hair glossy and shining under the gas lights. When he sees Sidney, his eyes go wide and he says, “You!”

“Hi,” Sidney says, skidding to a halt. His Russian is much better now, so he uses that as he bows. “Your Highness.” He knows now who Evgeni is; they haven't spoken since they were five, but he's seen Evgeni around when he's allowed at state functions and he knows the protocol. 

“Oh, don’t do that,” Evgeni says nervously. “Please.”

“I was looking for something to read,” Sidney says, looking up cautiously. "It's quiet here."

“You can read with me,” Evgeni suggests, and he scoots over in his large, plush chair so they can squeeze in together. They read about the history of ballet, only breaking the silence when Sidney asks Evgeni to help him with a word. 

Evgeni’s tutor finds them eventually and escorts him from the room, scolding him in rapid Russian. Evgeni throws one sheepish glance back at Sidney before meekly allowing himself to be led away. Sidney traces his fingers over the lines of the beautifully painted ballerina in the book, thoughtful, and then continues to read, struggling through the Cyrillic as best he can.

 

3\. He's thirteen and skating on the lake on the palace grounds. Every winter, it freezes thick and deep and the kids who live on the palace grounds skate and play hockey when they have the free time. Sidney likes that best, when all of them are out and chirping each other in ten different languages, tossing the puck around the battered ice. But he also likes it when most of the kids have gone back inside, the setting sun scaring them away and giving Sidney sole domain over the lake.

He's just skating from end to end, practicing his starts when Evgeni called, “Want to play?”

Sidney looks over and sees Evgeni standing in the snow at the edge of the lake, dressed casually. Sidney catches the stick Evgeni tosses to him. “You’re on,” he says, and he bats away the puck when Evgeni drops it to the ice. 

They play until it's dark, shouting cheerful insults at each other as they steal the puck from each other and practice shooting it into snow banks. Finally, Evgeni stops and leans on his stick. 

“I should go back inside,” he says regretfully. Sidney can’t see much of his face anymore, the moonlight not quite bright enough to illuminate his features. “Mama will be looking for me.”

“You have prince things to do,” Sidney agrees, laughing. “But this was fun. Maybe we can do it again someday.”

Evgeni gives him a small, secret smile. “Yeah,” he says, and he bumps his shoulder against Sidney’s before skating away.

 

4\. He's sixteen, and they're celebrating Evgeni’s engagement to the crown princess of the Ukraine, who is beautiful and sweet and seems like a lovely woman, and yet Sidney can't bring himself to be happy. 

Sidney doesn’t mind that so much; it's the realization that Evgeni would be moving to live with her once they married that bothers him. He barely knows the princes, but he, like everyone, loves the idea of them, loves the stories of Evgeni helping out at orphanages and rescuing butterflies at state events. And he treasures every small interaction he's had with the prince; Sidney still doesn't have many friends, but he thinks maybe he might be able to call Evgeni one, if they had more time to talk to each other. 

He spends most of the ball on the fringes, dancing with the sisters of his classmates and talking to Colby and Jack. He keeps catching glimpses of Evgeni, dancing with his fiancée and her brothers and the various royals who had come to celebrate the engagement. 

He makes his way over to the edge of the dance floor to watch Evgeni whirl around the floor with the ten year-old Princess Beatrice of Sweden, making her laugh when he dips her. Sidney watches, smiling, and is about to find his parents when Evgeni finishes his dance, bows, and moves off the floor.

“Oh hi!” Evgeni says when he runs into Sidney, smiling again. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

“I’m old enough to come to royal events now,” Sidney says, shrugging. “Congratulations on the engagement. I’m happy for you.”

“She’s very lovely, isn’t she?” Evgeni smiles and ducks his head. “I just hope she is nice. And that she is better at politics than I am.” He laughs self-deprecatingly.

“I’ll miss you,” Sidney blurts out, which he blames on the amount of wine he’s had to drink. "I mean, I –"

Evgeni’s smile softens. “I’ll miss you too, Sidney.”

“You know,” Sidney says, “that’s the first time you’ve said my name.” 

Evgeni stares at him for a long moment, then says, “Excuse me,” and moves away to talk to Jonathan, heir to the Manitoba Principality. Sidney swallows, suddenly feeling unsettled in his own skin. 

 

5\. He is eighteen, and Evgeni’s engagement has been off for one year. The princess had married the Manitoban prince, running off with him on her seventeenth birthday. Evgeni had taken it surprisingly well, shrugging and laughing, saying that he thought Jonathan was a very charming man and he hoped they would be happy together. 

In that time, Sidney hasn't spoken Evgeni; he has been busy preparing for exams, dealing with his preparations for university. He had sent him a note of condolence following his broken engagement, and Evgeni had sent him a thank you note, complete with an elegant signature and a smiley face next to it. 

But Evgeni is leaving for two years anyway to serve his country, declaring it was his duty to serve out the voluntary service. Sidney watches Evgeni give the speech from the balcony, poised and sure and proud, but something in the catch in his voice when he says, "I do this for my people – for the glory of our country and the pride of my family," makes Sidney seek him out afterwards.

Sidney doesn’t even know where to find him, wandering through the library, the hall where he first met him, even sneaks into the royal apartments through a secret passageway he found buy studying old plans of the palace. Finally, he thinks to go down to the shore of the lake and finds Evgeni sitting on the dock by himself, feet dangling into the water. 

“Evgeni,” he says quietly. 

Evgeni laughs, choked and bitter. “That’s the first time you’ve said my name,” he said without turning around. Sidney bites his lip, not knowing what to say. Then Evgeni asks, “Why are you here?”

“I —” Sidney sighs and drops to his knees behind Evgeni, resting a cautious hand lightly on his back. Evgeni's back is warm from the sun, the hairline at his nape damp with sweat. Sidney hasn't touched Evgeni deliberately before – not like this, anyway – and he hopes Evgeni understands what he's trying to say. “I wanted to see if you're okay."

"I am." Evgeni sighs and slumps forward a little. 

"Do you really want to go to join the military?" asks Sidney curiously. 

"Yes," Evgeni says immediately. "But – I will miss home." 

"I’ll miss you.” It comes out more heartfelt and pained than it had two years ago, and Sidney flushes at the raw crack of his voice.

“I’ll miss you too,” Evgeni whispers, turning, and they stares at each other before Evgeni clears his throat and says, “Thank you for coming by.”

Sidney bobs his head awkwardly, recognizing it as the dismissal that it is, and says, "Good luck," before rising to his feet and backing away. Evgeni watches him and Sidney waves once before turning and trudging up the hill back to the palace, stomach hurting. 

 

1\. Sidney is twenty, and he hasn’t seen Evgeni in two years, hasn't even seen him in passing around the palace as he always used to as a child. Evgeni has been away, fighting in Prussia, and has only come home at the holidays, and Sidney has been too busy to seek him out.

Sidney is in his last year of university; his parents have already returned to Nova Scotia, taking Taylor with them. His mother’s assignment had ended a little after his eighteenth birthday, but Sidney had wanted to stay and the royal family had let him keep an apartment on the palace grounds.

He's so wrapped up in research that he nearly misses the announcement that Evgeni has returned home; he only learns of the homecoming celebration from Alex, a classmate of him who comes from minor royal stock. 

"When?" Sidney asks, nearly falling out of his seat in his haste to see the gilded invitation. 

"Next week," Alex says, frowning down at him. "Do you want to come? I'm allowed to bring a guest."

"May I?" Sidney makes a pleading face and Alex grins. 

"You owe me, but okay," he says. "It's going to be boring, though, just so you know."

Sidney doesn't care. 

He isn’t sure what he’s expecting when he arrives at the grand ballroom for the celebration, dressed in his finest clothes. He just needs to see Evgeni, to see that he hasn’t been worn down too badly, to know that he’s safe and whole.

He stands in the vast ballroom at the front of the crowd, shoulder-to-shoulder Alex, fidgeting until Alex steps on his foot, hard, and hisses, "Stop."

Sidney straightens his spine and stops moving.

Evgeni is announced with a flourish of trumpets, and his appearance at the top of the grand staircase is greeted with an outburst of applause and cheers. Sidney claps until his hands hurt, staring up at Evgeni as he waves and smiles. 

Evgeni is resplendent in his uniform, his hair neatly combed and everything shined and polished to the its very best. The lights reflect off his medals as he walks down the stairs. He looks thin and weary when Sidney can see him clearer, and there’s a scar underneath his left eye that wasn’t there before.

Evgeni reaches the floor and kisses his parents' cheeks, gives his brother a handshake and then a hug. He smiles out at them and says, "Thank you very much for coming. Please, enjoy the party."

His gaze passes over Sidney unseeingly as he speaks, and Sidney tries not to be disappointed. He had known it was unlikely that Evgeni would care to remember him; it’s one thing to remember him when they lived in the same place, and quite another to care about the boy you spoke to five times when you were living with your life on the edge of a knife. 

He's about to turn away and return to his rooms when Evgeni’s eyes return to him, eyebrows rising in surprise. His mouth slowly turns up into a smile, more genuine and sweet than the polished princely smiles he gives everyone else. Sidney smiles helplessly in relief, stomach thrumming with anticipation, fingers shaking when he presses them against his thighs. 

Evgeni is presented with an award and a medal that he accepts gracefully, bowing his head as the queen pins the medal next to his others. Everyone applauds again before slowly starting to disperse, but Sidney doesn’t move, just waits as Evgeni makes his way through the crowd to him. 

“I waited,” Sidney says when Evgeni stops in front of him, hoping he understands. “I waited for you to come back.”

“I hoped,” Evgeni says, very softly, and he leans in, left hand coming up to curl around the back of Sidney’s neck, just above his brocaded collar. He strokes his thumb under his ear and smiles. “I missed you.”

“Evgeni,” Sidney breathes, leaning in, and Evgeni kisses him, in full view of his entire court and Sidney kisses back, breathless and trembling and so full of joy.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Paint My Spirit Gold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/842775) by [knight_tracer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight_tracer/pseuds/knight_tracer)




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